Why Fish are the Perfect Pet
_____ You never have to worry about a fish biting or scratching you because they are very agreeable. Whatever you do or say, they will just smile at you and nod.
_____ If you are looking for the perfect pet, a friendly little fellow swimming around in a bowl is your answer.
_____ Who wants a pet that always slobbers on you, keeps you awake all night, and knocks you over when you come in the door?
_____ Fish are an ideal companion because they are low maintenance, very agreeable, and easy to transport.
_____ When you are ready for a vacation or move, a fish doesn’t get upset like a dog or cat and is easy to transport.
_____ With any other pet, there is lots of work involved. You have huge bags of food, chewed up toys laying around, and stinky poop in the yard.
_____ A fish, on the other hand, is low maintenance with just a tiny box of food and a little neat castle in his bowl to make him happy.
_____ If everyone could have the experience of waking up to a smiling little fish face each morning that doesn’t need walked in the cold rain, all other pets would become extinct.
Why Everyone Needs a Job
_____ So if you’re tired of your little sister hogging the bathroom and too many vegetables for dinner, it’s time you got a job and started living the independent life that you’ve only dreamed of.
_____ Everyone needs a job so that they can be independent, develop responsibility, and learn life skills.
_____ Parents are always telling their kids they need to be responsible and a job teaches kids that. They have to get to work on time, follow rules, and perform their work satisfactorily.
____ Aren’t you tired of asking your parents for money and getting the third degree as to why you need it?
_____ Learning to live on your own helps you learn life skills like doing laundry, cooking, and planning your own schedule.
_____ Who wants to have to live with their parents for the rest of their lives?
_____ With a job, you can become independent and earn the money to live your own life the way you want to.
Why You Should Eat Dessert First
_____ What would you do if there was a fire in the kitchen during the meal, or one of your brothers or sisters chokes on a chicken bone?
_____ When you only have a stomach that is so big, why waste room on foods you don’t really like, when dessert is really what you are waiting for?
_____ Dessert is the best tasting part of the meal, so don’t take a chance that you won’t room for it. Sweet and tasty should always take priority over stiff and dry!
_____ Everyone knows that your mom tries to fill you up with the four food groups for your health, but dessert can fit into several of them with fruits, creams, and delicious bread fillings.
_____ Everyone needs to be a little bit sweeter, so make the world a nicer place by eating a piece of cake or plate of cookies as soon as you can!
_____ You should always eat dessert first because it tastes good, you don’t want to miss it, and it can be as healthy as the rest of the meal.
_____ Miss dessert of course! You can avoid that by eating dessert first and then you will be able to deal with any emergency without distress.
Why You Should Control Your Temper
_____ That probably isn’t the best solution and learning to control your temper will make you more successful in your job, your home life, and your environment.
_____ Have you ever been so mad at someone that you just wanted to knock them into next week?
_____ The environment will benefit from a calm temper because you won’t be breaking tree branches, stomping through flowers, or kicking dogs in fits of anger.
_____ So by controlling your temper, who actually benefits?
___ A job is a difficult place to be diplomatic, but if you are, you can make friends instead of enemies that could hurt you later.
_____ Everyone around you will appreciate your pleasant attitude and you will be like a ray of sunshine everyday if you learn to manage your anger in every aspect of your life.
_____ When your wife and children don’t have to worry about you yelling at them and throwing things around the house, your home life will be more relaxed and enjoyable.
Why Dry is Better Than Wet
_____ Not many people do because being dry is better for your health, your sanity, and your clothing.
_____ Not many people catch a cold in the desert, but a lot of people get sick because they had to stand out in the rain.
_____ Even doctors send their patients to Arizona because of the benefits of the dry air!
_____ Do you know what happens to clothing when it gets wet?
_____ The colors run, they stick to your skin, and you can feel water sloshing around in your shoes!
_____ Do you like getting caught in the rain or just wet enough that you feel icky all day because you can’t get dry?
_____ Have you ever felt like you were going to go crazy if one more raindrop fell on your head or you stepped in one more sloppy puddle?
_____ Yes, we do need to get wet once in a while to get things clean, but I’ll take a nice hot shower and a warm towel to dry my skin over a wet walk home any day!
_____ Being dry makes you feel good and a cool breeze on dry skin is like a memory of a perfect summer day, instead of a bone chilling feeling on wet skin.
_____ Dry clothing is warm and comfortable and makes you feel good about yourself and how you look.
Why Cows are Better Than Horses
_____ When you get hungry do you think, “Got Milk?” or gee I wish I had a horse?
_____ Anyone who is really looking for some lunch knows that cows are the answer because they provide meat, milk, and entertainment.
_____ Would you rather bit into a juicy hamburger at Chili’s or a mystery horse burger from a cart at the circus?
_____ Cows are well known as providers of great meat for everything from tasty steaks to mouth watering roast beef sandwiches.
_____ When you get ready to pour a glass of something cold and refreshing, a big glass of cow milk is just the ticket to real refreshment.
______ Anything you might squeeze out of a horse probably isn’t something you would want to drink!
_____ Which would you rather watch, a horse running in circles, or those crazy Chik’Fil A cows up on the billboards?
_____ Cows are a million times more entertaining on TV, greeting cards, and by the side of the road than horses.
_____ So the next time you need a little solid and liquid nourishment, along with some rib tickling fun, leave the horse in the barn and hang out with a cow.
Why You Shouldn't
Live At The Bottom of the Ocean
_____
Even though you always hear about fish being in
schools, it isn't the same thing as on land so you won't be able to
advance
your education about anything not related to your surroundings in an
undersea
world.
_____
If you like fish, and don't mind eating some of
the friends you might make, the food choices might be okay but you'll
probably
get bored of the same thing over and over again.
_____
You might want to swim away because living at
the bottom of the ocean really isn't a
good idea because of the food choices, atmosphere, and
educational opportunities.
_____
Do the pretty coral and fish call out to you as
you're swimming in the ocean as if saying, "Join us! You'll love it
down
here?"
_____
The biggest problem you'll face is the lack of
oxygen in the atmosphere which will more than likely cause you to
suffocate and
drown.
_____
Although Nemo is very cute and the Little
Mermaid seems to be having a good time, you need to leave the ocean to
them and
make a good life for yourself as a landlubber.
_____
Bad for you, but good for the fish because
they'll have something new to eat.
Why Gum Should Be Allowed in School
_____ Is there really some quality in gum that is actually good for
your health?
_____ Don't you hate it when you have bad breath or just need a little
pick-me-up in the middle of the morning but you have no options?
_____ Every teacher needs a little help in the classroom, so why
shouldn't they benefit from a little gum chewing?
_____ Better than a gym, a little stick of gum can get rid of
mouth bacteria, quell a hungry stomach until lunch, and exercises your
face muscles to avoid chipmunk cheeks.
_____ Gum stuck under desks and swallowed to avoid discovery will only
lead to problems, so it should be an accepted practice to chew to keep
the classroom a sanitary place for students.
_____ Students would talk less, be able to focus since they aren't
hungry, and not have nasty breath when they ask the teacher a question!
_____ Gum should be allowed in school to eliminate health problems,
avoid sanitary issues, and aid teachers in the classroom.
____ Everyone wins when gum becomes your friend at school so don't
think of it as an evil sticky substance, but welcome it as a necessary
school supply. Why You Should Appreciate A Good Teacher
_____ But if the teacher makes it interesting, using songs and
giving the students a wide open selection of books to pick from that
they like, grammar and reading, along with everything else, can become
your pals.
_____ Have you ever had a teacher that yelled at you all day,
gave loads of homework, and never did anything but read the chapter and
answer the questions?
_____ Everyone knows that grammar is boring and some people hate
to read because a teacher made them read a lot of stuff they hated.
____ So the next time you start to whine and get mad when the
teacher asks for a little silence while she is trying to help you be
smarter, think about whether it is really that bad.
_____ School should be a fun place to go at every level and a good teacher uses contests, games, and interactive assignments to try and keep the students motivated.
_____ Students learn in several different ways and it is up to a good teacher to present the material so everyone has a chance to get it.
______ Even if you haven't yet, you still might, so you should appreciate a good teacher because they try to make school fun, interesting, and present the material in a way you can learn.
How to Use Clauses Correctly
______ Words that start a dependent clause like because, when, and before are subordinate conjunctions.
____ Have you ever tried to write a sentence and it just doesn't sound or look right?
_____ The independent clause is a complete thought that can make it's own sentence.
_____ If the dependent clause comes first, you need a comma before the independent clause.
_____ So you can see that if you just remember three simple things, and how to spell, a sentence can express exactly what you are trying to say!
_____ But when the independent clause is first, no comma is needed.
_____ These words tell us that the thought coming is just part of an idea and will be added to an independent clause.
_____ Like this sentence, a dependent clause is an incomplete thought like a little baby that needs a babysitter to help it.
_____ Maybe that's because you don't know the difference between an independent clause, a dependent clause, and a subordinate conjunction.